Last words

So having SARS is not a death sentence (though an inevitable recession doesn't exactly make for happy living either). But being infected is NOW no longer a distant possibility or imaginings of a paranoid mind.

Have been thinking hard about my last words, or things that I should or would like to get done. Just in case, you know. Actually, I do think about such things occasionally, especially after reading heart-wrenching accounts, like September 11 victims calling their loved ones to say "I love you."

Well, I thought of Sean first. (Old habits die hard.) And I realised that I've nothing more to say to him that hasn't already been said before. And really, there's nothing left of my heart to give when I'd already decided in our last year together that he was The One (the operative word here being "was"). Perhaps, on my death bed, as the light fades from my eyes, he would be one of my life's definitive moments, a new guiding light to carry with me into the unknown. And that's about it. No regrets there. No regrets getting together. No regrets loving him. No regrets breaking up.

My family, whom I've never really felt that close to, but have actually spent more time with since the big break-up last year. And with the addition of Xena, I feel as if the family has been brought closer, again. It's heartwarming to see and know this.

Close friends? Just SF. And I've only this to say: keep the good times rolling, while we still can :-)

Come to think of it, there is nothing that I REALLY want to say or REALLY want to do.

Well, except for the pang of regret this afternoon, as I read the latest MOH circular on healthcare workers being discouraged to circulate with those from other hospitals; and who knows, soon enough, maybe even with non-HCWs? I wish I hadn't been such a chicken when the fish tried to get my attention. Argh. Guess I'll just have to vent all this into my collaborative wu xia xiao shuo with SF. Aaarrrggghhh.